


Come And Go

by grapenight



Category: Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-17
Updated: 2013-02-17
Packaged: 2017-11-29 13:34:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/687548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grapenight/pseuds/grapenight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brendon was fine with his life. Some people might say he was a mess, but he didn't think so</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come And Go

Brendon was sitting in his favorite spot in the whole world, crying his heart out. He rocked back and forth on the swing, tears rolling down his face. The swing next to him was empty. The swing would remain empty for the next ten years.

 

"Dude, you totally shouldn't drink that, it's like your fourth or something," Gabe said as Brendon grabbed another beer out of someone's fridge. He wasn't sure whose house the party was at tonight, probably someone Brendon had never spoken to, and never will. They were probably happy that Brendon even showed up to their party, they didn't care if all he did was get drunk and fuck around with some girl. Or guy, it really just depended on what kind of mood Brendon was in that day, or how drunk he was. Usually, if he was really drunk, it would be a drunk. At that point he lost any of the inhibitions he had left and went for it.

His sexuality wasn't a huge deal anymore, in some ways it just made him cooler, but he still had issues about it sometimes. It was the reason he still fucked around with girls. Being bisexual was one thing, but he wasn't sure how admitting he had little interest in boobs would go over. Probably not very well.

He was already scoping out who his lucky target would be tonight. They would get one night of Brendon Urie, and probably the best fuck they'll ever had. It didn't even matter that he's never talk to them again, just that one night was enough.

He drank half of his beer before saying to Gabe, "Nope, it's my fifth. See ya tomorrow, I've got things to do."

Gabe was actually one of Brendon's best friends. He didn't have many close friends, even those he did weren't really that close to him. Brendon had a constant stream of hook ups and many distant friends, but no one really knew Brendon, who he really was. Brendon wasn't even sure if he knew anymore.

He spotted a thin, tall guy with a fantastic ass. He smiled. He had found his entertainment for the night.

The morning after being drunk always made things seem like a mistake. Brendon had experienced this far too many times. Luckily, he had learned from experience the best ways to deal with a hangover, and he had tons of medicine to help. 

After he made his coffee for the morning, Brendon sat at the small table in his small kitchen, and thought about what he was going to do the whole day.

He had moved out on his own earlier in the year, after finally deciding to confess to his parents he just didn't believe. They didn't take the information very well, so here he was, juggling school and his own life, trying to make his ends meet. not to mention all the parties he had to go to. 

He knew better than to let things interfere with his job, though, so the parties never caused problems in that area. He needed the money, he wasn't stupid. School was a different story. He missed a lot, either from being too hungover or just skipping. And when he did show up, he didn't try very hard. He had always done well in school, but now he just couldn't bring himself to care. It was amazing the effect of not having his parents breathing down his neck everyday had on his school work.

Today was Saturday, and Brendon was miraculously off work, so he could do whatever he wanted for the day. He could hang out with his friends, but they were too much work at the moment, he didn't feel like going through all the illusions. He could work on school stuff, but that wouldn't happen. 

Normally, he'd consider just going back to sleep, because it was eight in the morning, but his pounding headache didn't allow for that option. He decided to go for a walk around town, maybe the fresh air would clear his head.

He walked past the shops and restaurants he had grown up around, the movie theater that was a complete mess, but still managed to stay in business by some miracle. He had gotten his first blowjob in that movie theater, there were a lot of good memories there.

After a bit more walking, the shops gave way to a park, which was clearly the nicest part of the city. It was huge and clean, and had a nice pond inside it. Brendon walked into the park, passing little kids and their parents feeding the geese. Geese were evil motherfuckers, though, so Brendon made sure to steer clear of them. 

He reached the playground, where he hadn't actually been in for years. He walked by it a lot, on days like this, but he never actually went in it or anything, it had lost all appeal to him years ago.

Today was different, though, because on the swing set, instead of screaming kids like there usually was, it was a thin boy with dark hair, who looked to be about Brendon's age.  
Brendon had thought it was peculiar, why was a teenager hanging out in a playground? It puzzled him so much that he decided to find out for himself.

The boy didn't look up as Brendon approached, which was strange because Brendon wasn't being careful about making too much noise. The boy was clearly immersed in a book, and the book looked wider than the boy himself.

"Are you reading a dictionary or something?" Brendon asked as he stopped a couple feet in front of the boy.

The boy looked up at Brendon, startled, with wide doe eyes. Brendon almost smiled. He could practically smell the innocence radiating off of the boy, even though he was Brendon's age. He certainly hadn't had the life Brendon had.

"Um, no, I was just um," The boy didn't even finish his sentence. He was shy too. For some reason Brendon was enthralled by it, by this boy, who really shouldn't be interesting at all. He was younger than his year, probably a big sweetheart. Brendon didn't like that, he usually went after the gritty, hard boys, so he was confused about how the boy captured   
his attention.

Brendon chuckled at the boy, and took a seat in the swing next to him. "Sure, whatever you say. Damn, these things are too small for my ass."

The boy's eyes got even wider at those words, like he had never heard someone cuss before. That was amusing.

He didn't say anything, though, so Brendon decided to continue. "Why are you hanging out here, anyways? Kind of a strange hang out."

The boy blushed and pulled on his hair slightly. He was pretty, in a way that boys probably shouldn't be, Brendon happened to notice. He was very delicate, and his fingers were so damn long, and he couldn't help but think what good use those fingers could be put to.

No, Brendon thought, stopping himself. This boy was way too innocent to even think about that kind of stuff, and it's be wrong for Brendon to think those things.

The boys voice was soft when he spoke, "I just moved here. When I was little I used to live here. I'd hang out here a lot, this is one of the only places I remember."

Brendon's though shifted at that. Something snapped into place, something that had been messed up for years, a part of him that had been missing.

A name came to his mind, one that he had long pressed down, tried so hard to forget. 

"Ryan?" Brendon couldn't help to say.

The boy looked at Brendon, really looked at him, and at the same time Brendon was really looking at the boy. Sure, he was older, so much prettier, but he was much the same in other ways. It was Brendon's childhood best friend. They would come here every day, and hang out at the play ground, and it was the best time of Brendon's life.

Ryan seemed to be thinking somewhere along the same lines, because he got up then and hugged Brendon.

It should have been awkward, by all means, but Brenodn found himself bringing his arms around Ryan, hugging him back.

"I've missed you so much," Ryan said into Brendon's ear. "Everyone said it was silly, that I was too young to even really remember you, but I knew you were my best friend. It sucked without you."

Brendon didn't tell Ryan, but he felt the same way. He remembered the day Ryan had moved away, when Brendon sat on the swings that had always been theirs, and cried until he ran out of tears, and then some. He was never really the same.

 

Even though it had been years since the boys had seen each other, Brendon and Ryan became close friends again very quickly. They had the kind of friendship that couyldn't be forgotten, that would always stick with them.

The problem was that Ryan couldn't know how Brendon actually spent his life now, because it was just so bad. He couldn't let Ryan see what a mess he had become, especially when Ryan was still a perfect person, he was just so caring and sweet.

Because of that, they only hung out at the park. It was okay for awhile, they had to get to know each other again, but soon enough Ryan started to wonder why he never got to meet any of Brendon's friends, or hang out at his house or anything.

After a few weeks, Ryan confronted Brendon. "Why don't you actually let me in your life? Is there something wrong with me? Am I not really that good of a friend to you?"

It broke Brendon's heart to hear this, so he found himself confessing to Ryan. "My life, it's not like your's. I'm not a good person. I'm a mess, my life's a mess, I live in a tiny apartment, and I'm about to flunk out of school. I get drunk way too often, and I hook up with anything with legs. I'm not as good as you."

Brendon felt like such a failure, and he couldn't deal with letting Ryan down. He had just gotten his friend back, and he certainly wasn't ready to lose him again, he couldn't handle that.

Ryan surprised him by not being disgusted at all. Actually, he showed again how he was a much better person than Brendon. "I could help you out. I'm pretty good at school, I mean, I could help you, like as a tutor or whatever. And, well, my dad, he kind of had an alcohol problem. I was there with him through that. i could maybe help you too?"

Brendon almost cried. Ryan was truly the sweetest boy he had ever met. He hugged Ryan tight and said, "I promise you, I'll get better, I will."

"I know," was all Ryan said. 

 

Brendon stopped partying. It worried his friends, but the good ones, like Gabe, stuck with him anyways.

"You're changing dude, I know that," Gabe had said. "But it's not really in a bad way. Anyways, I was getting sick of the shitty party music anyways."

The comment made Brendon smile, and he decided that maybe Gabe could meet Ryan. They went to the same school, but they had never hung out there before, because of the fact that they ran in completely different circles. 

Brendon took Gabe to sit with Ryan at lunch that day, and Ryan was overjoyed.

"Brendon! Hey! And you brought a friend, awesome. So these are my friends, Patrick, Jon, and Spencer. Pete's hangign around somewhere, probably picking flowers for Patrick or something," Ryan said, and like that Gabe and Brendon were accepted into their little group. Ryan's friends were amazing, just like he was, and Brendon wasn't surprised that Ryan had somehow managed to find all the best people in the school. They weren't party people, like Gabe and Brendon had been, and they had been a little shocked at first, but when Ryan explained the situation, they wanted to help out as much as they could.

Brendon stopped hooking up, too, although he found it was really hard to go long amounts of time without sex. His hand also became one of his best friends.

Pete and Patrick were a good example on Brendon. they had been dating for practically ever, and Brendon saw it was actually possible to stay with the same person for a long amount of time. It was mind blowing to him, it completely changed his views of relationships.

Ryan helped Brendon with school work, and it really helped that Ryan was a year older, because all the stuff Brendon was learning was easy as pie to Ryan. Some of that probably came from the fact that Ryan was really smart, too, but whatever the reason, Ryan helped Brendon raise his grades a lot. 

Not only did they hang out at school, Ryan started to spend some nights at Brendon's apartment. Brendon was embarrassed for Ryan to see his crappy home at first, but Ryan didn't care. He just made himself at home, even cleared out a drawer for his clothes.

For the first time in a long time, Brendon's life was looking up. 

"Let's get tome ice dream!" Ryan said one day after picking Brendon up from his job one day. They did, even though it was winter, and when they were back at Brendon's apartment, Ryan couldn't stop shaking.

"You're a dork," Brendon told him as he put a blanket over him and pulled him close, trying to share some body heat. His apartment didn't have the best heating system, so that didn't help. They stayed like that for awhile, and Ryan slowly warmed up.

"Thank you," Ryan whispered when he was nice and warm, and Brendon took it as a hint for him to back up. He started to move away, but Ryan turned around and pulled him back. They ended up sitting on Brendon's bed, Ryan straddling Brendon. 

Brendon realized how intimate this was, and he wasn't sure it Ryan did. He started to pull away again, but Ryan help him there and said, "No," before leaning in and pressing his lips to Brendon's.

It was a soft sweet kiss, exactly what Brendon would have expected from Ryan. He hadn't been in a situation like this before. He knew Ryan's kiss meant more than sex. it meant love, and sweetness, and even though before any notion like that would have scared Brendon, now he lived in it, wanting noting more than it.

As the parted, Ryan looked into his eyes and said, "You'll be my boyfriend, won't you?"

Brendon smiled and said, "Yes, of course. I think I've waited my whole life for you to ask that."

Ryan giggled, and Brendon smiled back before pulling him in for another kiss.

Ryan moving back had been the best thing that had ever happened to Brendon, but that wasn't very surprising due to the fact that him moving away had been the worst. He felt much closer to being complete now.

**Author's Note:**

> I really felt like writing a heart breaking fic, but as you can see that didn't happen. it does start off kind of sad, which is nice. But What i really want to do is write something that leaves people crying (It'll end happily because I can't handle sad ending, but sshhhh, spoilers). SO yeah, hopefully I'll be able to do that soon. I'm pretty pleased with this anyways.


End file.
